Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
