Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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