Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
