So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My pussy is not your playground.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
