there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
