my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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