I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
