it was like eating out sand paper
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
