The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
