please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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