i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
