he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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