a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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