I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
