Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
