Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
