If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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