and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
