may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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