Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you mean i was at the winter classic?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
