As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
