im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
