his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
