I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
