Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
