i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
