They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
