I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
