Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
