Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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