3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
