hell yes lets make some ravioli
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm at about main and main street
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
