Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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