Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
