u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
