there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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