She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
tell me about the eggs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
