so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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