ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
