either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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