He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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