I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
