I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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