whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Randomize
