Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she peed on how many people?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
