last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
