got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
