I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
