are you still at the devil's house?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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