Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
