I puked a lego.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
